This week I have been thinking about the nervous system. In yoga, we often talk about the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. How we can use our breath and movement in our bodies to drop from fight or flight (sympathetic nervous system) into rest and digest (parasympathetic nervous system). It is one of the beautiful things about practicing yoga it gives us those tools we need to calm ourselves and be more present in our bodies.
However, this week I have been thinking about it a bit differently. I have created a thermometer for each of the people living in my house that shows our feelings in our bodies as we move from being calm and present in the green zone at the bottom of the thermometer all the way up through yellow, orange, red and then eventually white zone where we can no longer contain our feelings any longer and we are so enraged that our bodies feel like they might explode.
I did one for myself and then I invited each of my children to do one too. What I found really interesting about this experience was the differences in the way we feel as we raise ourselves from parasympathetic into sympathetic and how we calm ourselves.
Our bodies have such different responses. I, naively, imagined that they would be fairly similar. That everyone’s path would be similar to mine. I’ve realised recently that I think this about a lot of things.
One of the reasons I thought this was an important exercise to do was so we could have a common language around this topic. I can now say to my girls – I am going into the red! And they will know what that means. I also wanted to talk to them about ways we can bring ourselves back down to the green.
Again, the things they need to help them calm their nervous systems were really different from mine. I want soft lighting, physical touch, to be able to breathe, to be able to move, to feel grounded preferably without any shoes and socks – actually touching the earth. Most of these I find in the yoga I do – and that’s why I love it. It calms me.
Whereas one of my daughters wants space and to be able to get cold, to eat ice, to jump around. The other needs to be able to curl up in a dark space with a weighted blanket and a hug and no noise. If you read last week’s blog you’ll understand why I was curious about this information.
I think digging into the individuality of our kids and finding out about what makes them tick is so important. One of the things I have learned through all my years working with children is that one size does not fit all.
Why not have a go yourself. Your child or children may not be old enough to cognitively discuss this but you can observe them and ask them when they are showing signs of frustration or anger. Where do you feel that in your body? How does it make you feel when…. And then create a thermometer for them.
Try and notice what helps them to calm down. Is it music or no sound? We’re definitely in the no sound crew. Is it weight and comfort against their bodies or do they want space to move and be free? Is it movement or stillness? Is it bright lights or a dark corner?
They will instinctively know and try to get what they need so observing that to start with can be really interesting and then next time you notice then moving up the thermometer offering them the things you have observed and seeing if that helps them to come back to green rather than escalating to red.
I’m staying curious and hoping our newfound common language will help us to support each other in times of stress. I hope it helps you too.
Love
Tracy 💕
